Working with young people and sexuality daily, we frequently see users who have pervasive fears about becoming pregnant, even when they aren’t taking risks to begin with.
Do “all guys” really always want more sexually than you really want or feel ready to do yourself? No. But even if they did, that doesn’t mean it’ll always be right for you — or them! — to engage in sex you don’t feel ready for yet or don’t really want yourself.
Navigating sex and sexual relationships after assault can be challenging: how do you deal with a relationship that seemed to facilitate healing at first, but now seems to be standing in the way, especially when the roof over your head seems to require it?
How do you tell a partner that you’re not comfortable with something they want to do, whether you have sexual abuse in your history or not? You tell them you’re not comfortable with something they want to do.
How do you get out of an abusive situation and get yourself safe? By doing all you can to get sound help as soon as you can and to leave as safely as possible. It’s so easy to feel stuck in abuse or other unsafe situations, but we can get unstuck.
Do you have to worry that simply by virtue of being a male person with a sexuality, you’ll abuse someone? No. Being a certain sex, having a certain gender or having a sexuality does not mean a person has any kind of innate predilection to abuse.
Depending on your view, the answer to that question might seem really obvious or very tricky and hazy. However, it’s a phrase and concept that’s bandied about a lot, yet is rarely explained. A group of Australian researchers finally defined it clearly and holistically.