• dambrosiofamily

    So true. My “baby” just turned 21. I had plenty of milk, and she “latched on” like a “barracuda” (this came from the breastfeeding literature I was given!) right away, but I had a lot of pain. Also, my daughter was very colicky, so we tried limiting my diet … all in all, it was a very stressful time … I breastfed for 6 months (exclusively for only one month), but gave it up when I went back to work. The pain eventually went away, and I went “numb” … :-( (that eventually went away also!! :-) I seldom had the “feel-good” breasteeding bliss I’d read about; in fact, more often I just felt like cow … MOO!!!

  • Goldenblack

    Yeah, it ain’t easy. And after a traumatic delivery, it can be pretty damn bad. I managed to exclusively feed for a few weeks, but after the nasty comments by nurses and consultants, I was determined not to ‘give in’ and give the baby formula. My husband got up in the middle of the night because he was frightened by the amount of suffering I was in – and because the baby was constantly upset and hungry. I probably could have solved most of the issues, eventually, if I had been prepared to push through the agonising pain and desire to throw the child – quite literally – away from me the moment I saw her. I hated being near her, because I associated her with horrific pain. I had no bond at all. And consultants told me I was just being weak.

    So for me, the transition to formula feeding was a lifesaver – I actually wanted to hold her after that. I find it bizarre how people act as if telling mothers it’s a gold standard will work. We _know_ that. But the story is more complex than ‘selfish mother’.

    • Martha Kempner

      I’ve heard this story from so many people – the lack of bonding because breastfeeding was so hard. Something about not seeing the forest for the trees comes to mind.

    • lady_black

      I’m with you. I disliked nursing intensely. It was extremely painful and frustrating. So with the third child, I decided not to even start. Further, after a difficult pregnancy, a C-section delivery (my second), and with two active kids waiting at home for me… I told the nurses they were not to wake me in the night to feed the baby because I would have to do that soon enough and needed to rest. The nurse charted that I “wasn’t bonding with my baby.” Can you believe that?? Some women enjoy nursing and are good at it. I wasn’t. That doesn’t make me a bad mother. The guilt trip needs to go.

  • Martha Kempner

    I had a lactation consultant who may have answered that question differently – my mother mentioned that we had given the baby formula and she launched into a discussion of how long that could last in a baby’s gut. At least 18 years. Then she completely ignored us and pretty much refused to help.

  • JamieHaman

    It’s great IF it works. Bottles and formula were invented because so many women had so much trouble with breastfeeding, not to mention the trouble babies had who didn’t get enough to eat.
    More important to bottle feed than to make Momma or Baby crazy with pain, fear, or hunger.

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