They Are Coming for Your Birth Control: Contraception ‘Poisons Love Between a Husband and Wife’


Think that anti-choice politicians and activists aren’t trying to outlaw contraception? Think again. Follow along in an ongoing series that proves beyond a doubt that they really are coming for your birth control.

Are you and your partner selfish for refusing to want to get pregnant every time you have sex? Of course you are, according to the unswervingly anti-birth control website LifeSiteNews.com.

In a recent piece on the site, theologist Peter Baklinski addressed the question “How do I prove contraception is wrong?” Baklinski argued that birth control isn’t just wrong because of its alleged health risks (as he incorrectly notes, birth control pills cause cancer and vasectomies sap your sex drive)—it ruins marriages, too.

[M]any contracepting couples have eventually discovered that contraception feeds a creeping selfishness that makes the man and woman focus almost exclusively on their own pleasure in sex, and not on one another. Contraception makes one person suddenly become for the other a sexual object to be used for pleasure and no longer a cherished and honored beloved.

The resulting mutual sexual exploitation can devastate true love.

By putting fertility under lock and key and thereby closing the sexual act to the possibility of new life, the contracepting couple no longer is able to give themselves completely and totally to each other. It is true that with contraception, the lovers caught up in the sexual act still act and react in much the same fashion as without, but the inner life of the person suffers rejection and compromise. Contraception degrades and violates the person.

This is why contraception turns sex into a big fat lie. It makes the lover say, “I love you, but not your fertility. I don’t want that part of you. Lock it up.” It truly poisons love between a husband and wife since nobody ever wants to be loved only conditionally.

The “it ain’t true love unless you can get pregnant” mentality goes a long way toward explaining the fascination that anti-choice zealots have with ensuring every sexual encounter has “creation” potential. It also explains their irrational fear of same-sex marriage. In their minds, if same-sex couples are allowed to have full legal rights as couples, that will create a permanent wedge between sex and creating a family—validating the belief that couples can have sex simply because they love each other and that children can come from a source besides intercourse and still make a complete and loving family.

The horror.

As we wait for the Supreme Court to hear cases that could potentially open the door for legal same-sex marriage nationwide, it’s important to remember that for many same-sex marriage opponents, their justification of “protecting marriage” goes beyond only allowing opposite-sex couples to wed. It’s also the first step in coming for your birth control.

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Follow Robin Marty on twitter: @robinmarty

  • http://twitter.com/TheDevilGoddess The Devil Goddess

    Yes, and turning people into their reproductive organs is completely beneficial to marriage.

    • HeilMary1

      And risking death, disability and bankruptcy for every sex act is such a turn-on!

  • Lynn Allen

    There’s a stronger argument that too many unintended pregnancies and having too many children the family can’t adequately support have ruined more relationships and families than contraception use. What’s the end game with these sadists? Return to Medieval times? If they don’t want to poison their marriages with contraception then they are free to not use it. But 98% of people who use contraception disagree. Their tyranny is the ultimate poison.

    • HeilMary1

      This creep must hate sex with his own wife and is getting it from everyone but her. That’s how these mother-killing hypocrites operate.

      • liberaldem

        Mr. Baklinski appears to be living in a never-never land in which the real life consequences of unprotected sex don’t apply. Couples should be able to decide for themselves whether and when they want to be open to the posssibility of having children. Sexual intercourse, foreplay, etc. is the business of the two people who are having it-not some theologian who’s been paid off by the Catholic church to spout propaganda.

  • http://twitter.com/MarkGisleson Mark Gisleson

    Wow. Every time I’ve ever had sex, I was selfish.

  • http://twitter.com/JenGStarr Jennifer Starr

    I used to try to work out the logic behind statements such as those made by Baklinski above–until it hit me–there is no logic at work here. After all, if the ‘true purpose’ of sex was only for procreation, wouldn’t we go into heat cycles like other mammals do? I’ve also heard the “sex should be ‘procreative’ and ‘unitive'” rubbish–I say ‘rubbish’ because that’s exactly what it is–this idea that my partner or husband doesn’t truly love me unless he’s trying to knock me up. Like I said–no logic here.

    • HeilMary1

      Unitive rubbish is pig lipstick marketed by pedophile priests who are repulsed by adult women. Poison is still poison no matter how much theological sweet anti-freeze is stirred in. Unitive bullying is simply criminal Munchausen by Proxy medical exploitation of women for spoiled pedophiles and such promoters should be arrested.

    • HeilMary1

      My comment disappeared!

      • HeilMary1

        And now it’s back from the internet Bermuda Triangle!

  • http://twitter.com/pastordan pastordan

    Robin, love your stuff, but it’s “theologian,” not “theologist.”

    • Wonder

      I think that was an intentional diss. People who contort the Christian(or any) religion into a deranged sadistic fertility cult don’t deserve to be called theologians

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=9433650 Sarah ES

    Yes, because we all know that unplanned babies and abortions are great for a marriage! Ugh. The contrived mental gymnastics are strong with this one, and so many like him. There is no sadder sight on this Earth than watching a conservative Christian attempt to think or pose as an intellectual.

  • colleen2

    How stupid would a woman have to be to fall for this crap?

    • nettwench14

      One wonders…!

  • http://www.facebook.com/robert.m.taylor1 Robert Merrill Taylor

    Another man making decisions for women.

  • nettwench14

    Wow, sex in marriage is “mutual sexual exploitation?” Orwell would be proud!

  • http://www.facebook.com/ella.warnock.7 Ella Warnock

    “How do I prove contraception is wrong?” Oh, that’s too easy, Baklinski. You can’t. Blathering on about your own backward, dogmatic beliefs does not a rational argument make. Actually, I don’t have to make a rational argument, either. I don’t want kids so I used hormonal birth control, then had a tubal ligation. That’s the way I wanted to live my life, and that – plus you minding your own business – is all you need to know about it.

    • http://powerandcontrol.blogspot.com/ M. Simon

      Totally agree. Women who don’t want children shouldn’t reproduce.

  • bresson2

    Baklinski’s piece felt like projection to me, so I took the liberty of rewriting it as follows:

    ‘[M]any non-contracepting couples have eventually discovered that lack of contraception feeds a creeping paranoia that makes the man and woman focus almost exclusively on the possibility of pregnancy in sex, and not on one another. Lack of contraception makes one
    person suddenly become for the other a reproductive object to be used for procreation and no longer a cherished and honored beloved.

    ‘The resulting mutual reproductive enslavement can devastate true love.

    ‘By putting pleasure under lock and key and thereby closing the sexual act to the possibility of affection, the non-contracepting couple no longer is able to give themselves completely and totally to each other. It is true that without contraception, the lovers caught up in the sexual act still act and react in much the same fashion as without, but the inner life of the person suffers dread and fatalism. Lack of contraception degrades and violates the person.

    ‘This is why lack of contraception turns sex into a big fat lie. It makes the lover say, “I love you, but not your happiness. I don’t want that part of you. Lock it up.” It truly poisons love between a husband and wife since nobody ever wants to be loved only conditionally.’

    • JamieHaman

      Beautiful…

    • HeilMary1

      Lack of contraception outsourced my fed-up dad to hookers and made my crazy Catholic mom disfigure me as her permanent abstinence excuse. Our screaming family was a complete nightmare and a scourge to the neighborhood. Disgusted less Catholic neighbors threw garbage at our house.

  • http://www.facebook.com/thashizknit Autumn Reinhardt Simpson

    I really love the implied idea that if you’re open to pregnancy then you are automatically having loving sex – you know, like a hundred years ago when it wasn’t widely available and men were REALLY concentrated on fulfilling their wives. Sad that all that changed, eh?

  • SBurchett

    Congratulations on defeated a very terrifying and bigoted straw man. I would like to remind you that most people opposed to the use of birth control, even within marriage (1) have no intention of making it illegal and (2) do not think that you should get pregnant after every time you have sex, as you stated twice. Most people against birth control will support Natural Family Planning, a method that, when used correctly, is more effective than birth control pills and doesn’t come with the health risk of unnatural hormones. It is their way of respecting a woman’s and man’s body, embracing fertility, and they do not pose a threat to you using all the birth control you want.

    • goatini

      “respecting a woman’s and man’s body while embracing fertility” – in other words, IT DOESN’T WORK.

      • SBurchett

        By embracing fertility, I mean working with and not against it. In other words, if you don’t have sex during a woman’s pregnant days, it’s impossible to get pregnant.

        • http://twitter.com/JenGStarr Jennifer Starr

          NFP is fine for couples who choose that route. However, some of us prefer to have non-procreative sex with our partner or husband when the mood strikes us, instead of waiting to see what our cervical mucus looks like on that day. It’s a matter of personal preference.

        • goatini

          Yeah, my Mother would have liked to have laughed her head off at you for that nonsense. Three children born in a little more than four years, practicing “safe days” assiduously. That’s exactly how well the oxymoronically-named “NFP” works. Moving to a state where contraception was legal and following her conscience worked MUCH better.

    • bj_survivor

      “Most people against birth control will support Natural Family Planning, a
      method that, when used correctly, is more effective than birth control
      pills and doesn’t come with the health risk of unnatural hormones.”

      Ahahahahahhaha! This is a load of horseshit. Maybe I should say “popeshit.”

    • Dragonstaff

      There is a name for people who use NFP- they are called PARENTS.

  • Dragonstaff

    How does the lack of fertility affect the loving relationships of those who are past menopause or otherwise unable to reproduce? Does this fool presume that people in those situations don’t have sex or the ability be part of a loving and lasting relationship?

  • blarz

    i’m sure you support reasonable and comprehensive birth control – control (get it) — just like you do with guns…after all, it’s for the children

    • http://twitter.com/JenGStarr Jennifer Starr

      Do you call yourself blarz because you frequently spout complete gibberish ?