• http://twitter.com/Basiobasilica Kari

    I am 25 and cannot imagine not having my parents. More importantly, those people I know who lost one or both parents young– when they were in their twenties and thirties– found life to be extremely rough afterwards, even if they were privileged. While India may have a culture where extended family is available and close, in the US we do not. It is extremely challenging to raise a child without being able to talk to your parents, to buy your first house without an experienced parent walking through it with you and pointing out what they would notice, to go to college without being able to crash with your folks during breaks. I’m not saying it can’t be done, millions do it every day. But life is a lot harder and a lot less fun if you have to make every mistake yourself. While we live longer, our childhood is longer, too– 25 before you are considered a true adult, often at least 35 before you are a real “grown-up” with the stable job and the spouse and the kids. Which means that these people aren’t just going to be in their 80s when their kids graduate high school. They are going to be in their NINETIES when their children no longer need them as a safety net. I had extremely healthy grandparents; my grandfather adopted late in life, my father had children later, and my grandfather died at almost 100 a few years ago and in excellent health– FOR A MAN HIS AGE. He was frail, arthritic, and required assistance walking and getting out of chairs. That’s a healthy 90+ year old. He relied on my father and my aunt for assistance– imagine if they were only 35 and still getting on their feet instead of in their 50s and financially stable, with the sort of jobs they could leave if they needed to to care for him.

    If you are 60 and realize you want kids after all, adopt a teenager. You can have the legal right to have kids that late if you want. But I will still see it as immoral, wrong, and vain.

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