• pheasantweber

    Thank you for sharing your story.

  • elburto

    I had a similar experience, it was actually the first time I’d had sex.

    Can’t name it either, but that’s not too strange, given that men form and define virtually every construct, concept, and experience through their words, their definitions.

    I long for a day when women and girls are free to name and define our hurt for ourselves.

  • toomanyjasons

    What you are suggesting is that you aren’t responsible for your own actions while under the influence?

    If that is true than how do you explain that theory to families who are victims of violence by drunk drivers?  Should they be held accountable for their actions ?  Ask yourself this instead of diverting all of the responsibility to your male friend.  Ask yourself what kind of person you will be if you don’t take responsibility for your own actions.  Sexual issues are as complex as the very people that we are.  I don’t see a victim of a rape here.  I see woman who is hurt by rejection.  If your friend had chosen to continue the friendship after you had sex,  would you have still labelled him a rapist?

  • colleen

    A rapist perspective, a Republican perspective but not the perspective of a decent man.

  • toomanyjasons

    Simplification of such a serious subject is’nt healthy for anyone.  Try harder if you really care.  This definately is not a political issue!  How will it create open and honest dialogue when you resort to name calling and insults of someone you know nothing of?  How will that help victims of rape?

  • crowepps

    Oh, for cripe’s sake — the aim of your original comment was to shame/blame the author with the tired old excuse ‘if you hadn’t gotten drunk, it wouldn’t have happened’ which implies it’s *her* responsibility to always be alert to men’s innate rapist tendencies, and now you accuse someone else of name calling and insults?

    Let’s declare a new axiom: “Women who have had so much to drink that they are puking are presumed to be too ill to consent to sex.”

    What will help victims of rape is for men to understand the concept of ‘enthusiastic consent’, get over the idea that they are entitled to have sex with anybody who is too incapacitated to resist, and stop raping women.  It really isn’t any more complicated than that.

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