What God Intended? As a Victim and Survivor of Rape I am Appalled and Disgusted

This is one of a series of powerful stories from survivors of rape, you will find them all here.

Twenty -two years ago I gave birth to my lovely daughter who was conceived as a result of rape. This rape was a “legitimate rape,” just as all rapes are. It was a horrible, degrading experience. I did not report it because I did not want to have to go through being treated like I was somehow to blame for it, I didn’t want to hear that I was the one in the wrong and the rapist was the victim as often happens.

As a victim and survivor of rape I am appalled and disgusted with the statements that have been made by members of the GOP and although it is a very difficult thing to talk about, especially to strangers, I decided that I could not, nor would I remain silent any longer.

Today, I wonder what kind of world we live in. Richard Mourdock, a U.S Senate candidate in Indiana, this week said, “if a woman gets pregnant as a result of rape, well it is what God intended.”

It is clear that these men have no clue what it is like to be assaulted in such a horrible disgusting way, to be raped. It is also clear that they have no idea what a woman struggles with after a rape, and then what she goes through if she becomes pregnant as a result of that rape.

I knew it was not my baby’s fault but I struggled with how to raise a child without spewing the hate I felt for that man. I thought about how my child would feel, and as a mother I hurt so much for my child and what feelings she would have to live with her entire life. I can tell you it hurts a whole hell of a lot.

There is nothing anyone can say that justifies the statements that have been made about sexual assault, rape, abortion, and women in the last month. I believe Richard Mourdock, Todd Aiken, and others like them who’ve spoken out against women in the last month do not belong in public office.

For GOP leaders to continue to endorse Mourdock and for them to say that the Senate needs Mourdock in office shows that they agree with the disgusting statements that have been made. They have no clue what a woman who has been raped goes through, and now they are showing that they don’t care what she has gone through.

These statements have set us back years, they are degrading to women, and they are part of the reason women do not report rape, and part of the reason I did not report my experience with rape. Women are sick of being treated like a criminal instead of a victim. We are sick of the shame and the blame.

I chose not to abort my pregnancy but I can find no fault with any woman that chooses an abortion if she becomes pregnant as a result of rape. That choice is essential.

I am a rape survivor, I am a strong, and I am a woman with a voice and a vote and I will do what I need to do to be heard and to alert people that the GOP platform is one that cares nothing for women nor their feelings. I will stand up and be heard, and I need you to stand with me.

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  • jessica-skolnik

    Fantastic! Reading all of these stories from my fellow survivors is filling my heart with hope for the first time in a long time. Solidarity and support.

  • big-softy

    Why do American men hate their mothers, daughters, wives and sisters so much?

    What the hell is going on in your country?

  • colleen

    What the hell is going on in your country?

    You know, that’s really a very good question. What sort of man would  try to legislate the  mandatory, punative and unnecessary use of vaginal probes? What sort of people would find this  acceptable behavior from an elected official?

    I was rereading Jung’s description of visiting Germany prior to World War II the other day. I don’t mean to alarm but it made more sense to me reading it the 2nd time and 25 years later.

  • give-em-hell-mary

    Jung’s description of visiting Germany prior to World War II”

    I’ve collected many books on the same subject, and concluded that the RCC’s malignant misogyny fueled its collusion with the Nazis in many European countries and the U.S. (radio hatemonger Father Coughlin and the GOP Liberty Lobby that tried to overthrow Roosevelt).  After WWII, pedophile Cardinal Spellman worked with the CIA to welcome Operation Paperclip Nazis into the U.S.  What Americans don’t get is that many of the worst Nazis weren’t even German or Austrian, but East European, and they joined Bush 41’s GOP.  And I’m not doing this subject justice in its scary complexity.  The RCC has always sided with misogynist dictators.

  • ljean8080

    on the Holocaust?Most of the heads of the Nazi party were German.

  • give-em-hell-mary

    Hitler was able to invade many European nations because he had supporters and puppet politicians in those nations.  For instance, Hungarian-born Catholic priest Jozef Tiso headed Hitler’s puppet state of Slovakia.  Funny how Catholic schools skip over Fathers Tiso and Coughlin in history classes!


  • ljean8080

    Catholics are evil,even Joe Biden?Mary

  • forced-birth-rape

    “The Catholic Church is working against the interests of child abuse victims in state legislatures around the country. In recent weeks, lobbying by the church has blocked measures in Wisconsin, Arizona and Connecticut intended to widen the legal window for victims to file lawsuits against hidden predators.”




    “Church excommunicates mother of 9-year-old rape victim – but not accused rapist.”

    A senior Vatican cleric has defended the Catholic Church’s decision to excommunicate the mother and doctors of a nine-year-old rape victim who had a life-saving abortion in Brazil.”

    “Police believe the girl was sexually assaulted for years by her stepfather, possibly since she was six. That she was four months pregnant with twins emerged only after she was taken to hospital complaining of severe stomach pains.”




    I was sexually abused the first ten years of my life, the catholic church is the number “ONE” child Raping organization on the globe.

  • ljean8080

    that saved my life when I was born.


  • forced-birth-rape

    And if they Rape kids while they are at it, so be it.

  • give-em-hell-mary

    And I’m NOT grateful that the Catholic Church disfigured me, kicked me to the curb, and raped, beat to death or medically trafficked millions of non-white or non-Catholic kids around the globe.  Just because your mother didn’t tell you about its crimes and bully Bill Donohue of Catholic League keeps American media from properly investigating it doesn’t mean that there aren’t billions of victims.  The RCC’s anti-condom terrorism has decimated Africa, created millions of AIDS orphans, and yet because you’re OK the rest of us victims are supposed to ignore its criminal atrocities??

  • give-em-hell-mary

    Did I ever claim all Catholics are evil?  I would take Biden and MD Gov. O’Malley any day over smug mother killers like Paul Ryan and bishops.