• johann7

    Anti-choicers are reacting to a paranoid belief that if women are totally free to choose our own paths, we won’t choose to have men on our journeys. It’s yet further proof that misogyny has an element of man-hating to it, because the misogynist believes that men are not capable of being true friends and partners to women, that men can only enter into relationships with women that have an element of coercion and control. It’s funny, really, to see someone who thinks so little of men preen about how she “likes” them. From the feminist point of view, truly liking men means giving them enough credit to believe that men can be in relationships without forced childbirth being the glue that binds them to women.

    This perfectly illustrates the crux of the issue! It ties right in with the weird projecting that goes on around contraception or gay marriage when someone starts in with paranoia about birth rates or straight marriage, as if the only reason people ever get married to someone of a different sex/gender or have children is because there are no other options. The ideas that people (especially women with men) might actually freely (well, as freely as is possible with all of the power cultural influence exerts over our behaviors) choose to get together or have children seems completely foreign to the Conservative worldview (my guess is that they’re projecting – because they didn’t ever have a choice and would have perhaps chosen differently had they, they assume their experiences are universal, a common assumption of authoritarian conservative thought).

  • blissed

    shame women for being sexual and for being independent”

    .

    That is what a man is doing when he segregates (in his mind) women into categories depending on what he wants at any particular time in his life.  A number of shame-related issues that cause such angst and bewilderment for women is manifest in this universal thought pattern among men.  A prime example is the sudden shift in a man’s life to a preference for low-partner count women (fortunately, virginity is not required) when considering who is worthy for a long term commitment. 

    .

    Men need to be convinced to change their minds and see how ridiculous it is to attach meaning to a woman’s sexual activity.  Only then will all the other issues that conflate shame and sex begin to go away.



  • amanda-marcotte

    But only in threats. I’ve never seen a scrap of evidence that many men actually consider a woman’s number of partners before settling down with her. 

  • forced-birth-rape

    Pro-forced-birthers think women and little girls vaginas are born in debt, I would rather not be born. Thay hate with a bloody passion women and little girls right to say, NO! I will not be married, I will not have sex, I will not give birth. They do not want women and little girls having ownership of our own vaginas.

     

    I was taught in my southern Baptist family that a woman cannot deny her husband sex, ever. If a man rapes his wife it is not rape, because there is no such thing as rape in marriage. If a man beats his wife it is her fault for not being submissive enough. A woman cannot divorce her husband for anything other then adultery. We are condemned for not getting married at eighteen. Why would I want to get married if my husband can beat me and I can not divorce him? Why would I want to get married if my husband can rape me and I cannot divorce him? As someone who grew up with a wife-beating father and was sexually abused as a little girl this is devastating. 

  • blissed

    What is the nature of these threats?

     

    I’ve never seen a scrap of evidence that many men actually consider a woman’s number of partners before settling down with her. 

    Evidence in what form? This is from Feministing:

     

    tstamp

    Posted September 9, 2010 at 7:21 pm | Permalink

    There is this notion of slut shaming in the media and it happens on a more personal level among people who shame one another. There is also something that is discussed on other websites but never in the wider media – something called slut rejection. The latter is what heterosexual men who seek a life partner supposedly engage in. I have personal experience with this. My ex did not try to shame me but upon knowing more about me, he just sort of faded away. Its so wrong that women may have to lie or not say anything and either strategy is prone to backfire. I believe that if men had less alternatives, that is if most or many women had a fruitful sexual history, then that would become the norm and therefore acceptable.

    http://feministing.com/2010/09/09/fatslut-acceptance-and-the-meritocracy-myth/

     

    So, no, there is not an official survey or study.  Just tragic stories and quite frankly, few women are willing to discuss it.  They just move on and hope for the best.

     

    Women must be the ones who reclaim, define and determine what is “wife material” and feed it back to men until they get it!

     

  • thalwen

    See the reason we can still be man-hating feminists and still go to the abortuary every weekend is.. because abortion is such great fun that we use our feminine Imperius curses against the poor mens so we can keep getting abortions. 

     

    The conservative world is really weird and scary. Women (i.e. sluts) are all about having lots of sex with men who are totally covered in cooties. Proper women totally dig men, but not because of their personality or anything but because of Jesus juice and baybees. And the only reason men marry women is because they can’t marry men (I suspect there’s cooties involved here too). There are rumours of beings called lesbians, but sightings of those are about as common as unicorns, Nessie and Jesus toast.

     

    And gay sex is must be really awesome because it can cause natural disasters. Meanwhile straight sex is totally boring but can create an amazing and precious form of life called a foetus. Unfortunately, after about 9 months, the foetus transforms into a baby full of original sin and poop and tons of cooties. 

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