Abortion

Congress Wants To Stop Gender Imbalance? I Recommend the PRICK Act

It's time to put Congress where they will do the most good -- in our bedrooms.

Arizona Rep. Trent Franks has presented an excellent first step in thwarting any potential gender imbalance with his introduction of PRENDA, the Prenatal Nondiscrimination Act.  The bill, which will make it a crime to abort a fetus based on its sex, is intended to “end discrimination against female babies.” But honestly, the bill is utterly unenforceable. After all, who is going to tell a doctor that they are seeking the abortion in order to eliminate a female child.

Instead, I would like to offer Franks the opportunity to present a bill that will truly fix the issue of gender discrimination in the womb, and stop this madness before it takes hold in our society.

Yes, I’m talking about the Prenatal Regulation of Interbedroom Coitus and Konception (PRICK) Act.

The PRICK Act would outlaw certain sexual behaviors that could be used by some couples in an attempt to “sway” the outcome of their coital activities to produce a baby of a specific sex. It will come as little surprise that many couples, seeking to carry on family names, guarantee a lower burden of wedding expenses, or even “balance” their families after having a series of female infants, may go to drastic lengths to try and conceive a boy child during a following pregnancy.

Should this go on unabated, there is no doubt that girls, the forgotten sex, will continue to decrease in number in comparison to male counterparts.

Based upon the deviant “Shettles Gender Swaying” protocol, the following activities must be made illegal as soon as possible by Congress:

  • Ban the practice of timing intercourse as close to ovulation as possible: The idea is that since the Y-chromosome sperm are faster than the X-chromosome sperm, there will be more Y-chromosome sperm who reach the egg, making it more likely that a Y-chromosome carrying sperm will fertilize the egg.
  • Ban the abstention from sex for four to five days prior to ovulation. Have intercourse only just at the time of ovulation and just before.
  • Ban acts of intercourse that allow for deep penetration. Shettles recommends rear-entry (aka, “doggy-style”). The idea is that the sperm will be deposited closer to the cervix where cervical fluid is most friendly to the Y-chromosome sperm and where the “boy sperm” are more likely to survive since there is less distance to travel.
  • Make men wear tight clothing. Heat kills off both types of sperm, but will kill off the less protected, smaller Y-chromosome sperm faster when tight underwear is worn, according to Shettles, and this can affect the sex of the child.
  • Ban women from having an orgasm: According to Shettles, female orgasm increases the alkaline secretions in the vagina that are favorable to the Y-chromosome carrying sperm. Shettles recommends having an orgasm before or at the same time as the male partner.

We ask that Congress move swiftly to create a law that bans tight clothing for men, allowing only boxer shorts and airy pants to be worn. We demand Congress ban sex in any position besides the missionary position, and that they make sexual intercourse at any time except the four days prior to ovulation. And above all, we demand that Congress make it illegal for women to orgasm.

The fates of our girl babies are at stake.

Support the PRICK Act.  Get Congress in our bedrooms where they really belong.