• doodlecervix1974

    Bianca,

     

    I too have met Tamika at the NCCC Convention. She is truly and inspiration. I have a different perspective on the issue of higher divorce rates in cervical cancer survivors. When I was diagnosed, I had two young children (3yr old and 9mo. old). Having cancer surgery and treatments is not very easy to do when you have two little ones depending on you and a workaholic husband that is not supportive. The side effects of this cancer effect you emotionally, hormonally, physically, spiritually, and it is as if your female side is transformed. I cannot put in to words just how traumatic this entire experience has been on my life. It has cost me my marriage, and I have even lost primary custody of my kids due to the psychological/mental health/surgical menopause ramifications as well as the utter fatigue after the cancer treatments were over.  Having a husband that can only equate improvement/progress in their wife by counting how many times he has been given oral sex or been attacked sexually by his menopausal mate is not going to help one feel encouraged. When your vagina has been reconstructed after they removed 1/3 of it, and you are dealing with atrophy and radiation scarring….the last thing you want is sex. What you need is a friend (husband) that is there to tell you they love you no matter what your body can and can’t do…instead of a husband with an ego that can only be fed by sex.

     

    I feel nationally that we need to really work harder to educate cancer survivors on the risk of PTSD developing after cancer. It is most common diagnosed as Depression, ADHD or some other “imposter” diagnosis—when in fact it is a form of trauma (PTSD) that is not being dealt with in a healthy way. We also need to show spouses just what to do (or not do) when their wife is experiencing something so devestating to their sexual existence.

     

    I could type on forever because it was the cancer that truly stole too much from me in regard to my marriage and kids. And I was sooooo distraught over my mental/hormonal condition–that is almost happened in a big blurr of time.

     

    Please explore this further. It is a very important issue.

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