Media: It’s a Woman’s Nation While Dad’s on His Knees

In the heat of the national debate on long-delayed health
insurance reform, the landmark Shriver Report on work and family life
has sadly devolved into a voyeuristic peek into our bedrooms.

"Shifting roles change dynamic in bedroom" shouts
Thursday’s lead story on, a media partner in the year-long study of workplace trends
led by California First Lady Maria Shriver and published by the liberal think
tank Center for American Progress.

Instead of a thoughtful series on very real gender
inequities in wages, unfair gender-rating of health insurance and antiquated
employment policies that could truly elevate the public debate it now appears Cosmopolitan is advising the Shriver
Report publicity team.

A fat check is the new heaving bosoms, so they say. There
were no women making big bank that were actually interviewed for the story.

The piece subtitled "When she earns more, he aims to
" is an excruciating exercise in sexuality-fueled relationship
politics that utterly destroys the report’s giddy assertion that the
"battle of the sexes is over."

Hayes’s wife, an oncology nurse, makes twice the money he does in his job as a
juvenile corrections officer in Columbus, Ga.

he since she brings home much of the bacon, he wants to make sure he’s offering
her some perks too. He leaves affectionate notes around the house for her and
tries to keep the house tidy. And he wants to make sure he shines in one
special area.

she is "handling certain areas of the relationship" like making most
of the money, he said, “you’ve got to handle your business." By
"business," Hayes means sex. "You’ve got to be creative. You’ve
got to be good!"

Lovely. Good to know the unnamed Mrs. Hayes is getting some

Especially after a hard day’s work in an incredibly
stressful profession where she is likely exposed to dangerous chemotherapy
toxins and radiation — a concern the study devotes an entire section to the
workplace risks in female-dominated occupations.

Even more despicable is Chris Matthews’ tittering "sex
as reward for housework" interview with Shriver on his MSNBC show Hardball and his lecherous insinuations
about her marital relations with husband, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger:

The most infuriating aspect of this media debacle is the Shriver Report is a well-sourced study on gender inequities in the workplace and at home — though its policy prescriptions on telecommuting and family leave policies focus far too heavily on improving circumstances for affluent, white mothers than the more intractable problems facing single women without children, low income women and women of color.

I’m almost relieved that NBC News concludes this banal week-long series on the report Friday. Though I can only imagine we’re in for a searing exposé on the new pickup line for middle-aged women on the prowl for younger men: “Hey, baby, what’s your insurance co-pay?”

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  • anonymous99

    Sorry, But this whole idea of gender inequality for wages is a myth. Anybody can use statistics to support an agenda. Economics will tell you that if the wage gap is true someone could simply hire all women at the reduced rate and make a killing. It’s just not happening because the wage gap just isn’t true. There is a wage gap between Chinese and American labor so companies are moving over there. Why aren’t companies just hiring women? Because there is no economic incentive to do so.

  • someone123

    There is nothing wrong with women ruling the home. It is about time that men be the subservient domesticated ones. Husbands and boyfriends should be the ones cooking and cleaning and caring for the home while the women make bank. My boyfriend cooks all my meals, cleans our place and does all of my ironing and laundry since he has just a part-part time job while I bust my butt in the corporate world. I’ve joked that I should buy him a french maid outfit as a symbol of his place in the home. There’s nothing wrong with us women being on top.

  • anonymous99

    Just one little piece of advice – DO NOT marry this guy.  If you do you’ll be paying his way through life even when the relationship is over.  Having a dependent spouse is very dangerous territory.   BTW If I suggested I buy my wife a French maid outfit as a symbol of her place in the home that would be considered verbal and mental abuse.

  • ls1958

    The gender wage gap has been reported and studied for more than a decade, and it is based on statistics reported by the Bureau of Labor Statistics. If it was a myth, people would stop talking about it after a while, but it’s still a topic of mainstream discussion.

    And it makes perfect sense that there would be a wage gap, because women have been in the workplace for a shorter time than men and corporate protocols and behaviors are set up to accommodate traditional family roles – ie men work, women tend the home. The system is set up to favor men in the workplace, because men built the system. See how that works? 

  • ls1958

    Do not marry anonymous99, who apparently cannot tell the difference between a man and a woman, even when someone clearly points out she is a woman.

  • anonymous99

    I didn’t indicate "someone" was a man.  I know she’s a woman.  Read my post again.  I was merely pointing out a feminist double-standard.  If I spouted off that my wife should where a French maid dress I would be labled as an abuser.  If a woman says her husband should wear a French maid dress that’s funny. 

  • anonymous99

    I could cherry-pick weather statistics and claim that it never rains in the United States.  This "study" wouldn’t make my claim true.  It makes no sense whatsoever that there would be a wage gap (different pay for same education/experience).  Any meaningful cost gaps (incl a wage gap) are eliminated pretty quickly by market forces.

  • someone123

    Well… this whole discussion has motivated me and, this weekend, I’m getting my boyfriend the outfit. French maid skirt, heels, fishnets and stillettos, the whole kit and kaboodle. So many guys want we women to dress like that and we’ll see how he feels with the shoe literally on the other foot. I have a feeling this is going to be fun — maybe even invite my girlfriends over. Women’s empowerment! :)

  • anonymous99

    So "Women’s empowerment" is about getting back at and humiliating your man…just because he’s a man?

  • crowepps

    Are you saying that when a man encourages a woman to ‘dress attractively’ and ‘act sexy’ the purpose is to humiliate her because she’s a woman?

  • crowepps

    “UCSB, several studies concluded, paid male full professors an average of $12,900 more than it paid female full professors. As a result of those studies, Broyles-Gonzalez is the first woman in the UC system to emerge victorious in a gender pay equity lawsuit.”

    Class-action suit against Wal-Mart
    “In early February, the plaintiffs released a trio of studies based in part on Wal-Mart data covering 4 million employees. The analyses paint a stark picture of pervasive differences between the treatment of men and women at every level of the company (table). According to experts hired by the plaintiffs, men dominate the higher-paying store management jobs, while women perform more than 90% of the $14,000-a-year cashier jobs ($13,800 if you’re female-BP).

    Women also earn less than men in the same jobs, the report shows. Even after accounting for seniority, store location, and other factors, a study found that women earned from 5% to 15% less than men in each year from 1996 to 2001. Even within the same hourly and salaried job classifications, women earned less.”

    Leadbetter v Goodyear Tire
    “She started with the same pay but by retirement, she was earning $3,727 per month compared to 15 men who earned from $4,286 per month (lowest paid man) to $5,236 per month (highest paid man).”

    Class action suit against Smith Barney
    “Specifically, the women allege that Smith Barney:
    Systemically discriminates against women in allocating business opportunities
    Discriminates in the account distribution process, routinely assigning smaller and less valuable accounts to female brokers, including those who outperform their male counterparts, than to male brokers.
    Fails to provide women with the same level of sales support, administrative support, and other support as it provides to men.
    Maintains a corporate culture hostile to female professionals.”

    You could also learn a lot by reading “Nickel and Dimed” by Ehrenreich — your local library might have it.

  • crowepps

    There were some truly remarkable findings uncovered by the Shriver survey. Here are some headlines that could have been written about them, but so far, I haven’t seen them:

    • “Less than half of working women believe that it is very important to be married”

    • “Only half of working women say that a happy marriage and children is what they most want for their daughters.”

    • “More than three-quarters of women agree that it is possible for a woman to have a fulfilling life if she remains single.”

    • “Americans rank marriage last in importance, behind health, self-sufficiency, financial security, a fulfilling job, religious faith, and children.”

    All of these findings are included in the tables and graphs of the Shriver Report. But you won’t find a section of text reiterating these findings and discussing why it is that Americans are not as smitten with marriage as the report might otherwise lead you to believe.

  • crowepps

    There is nothing wrong with women ruling the home. It is about time that men be the subservient domesticated ones.

    This comment may have been meant as a joke, but actually, what’s the deal with the idea of money equals power/ruling etc.? Why would anybody WANT their partner to be ‘subservient’? Providing money to support someone doesn’t rationally justify using that fact to act as through one is ‘on top’ of somebody, does it? Look at the definition below — do you WANT the other person in ANY relationship (love/home/family/career/friendship) to be like that?

    sub·ser·vi·ent (sb-sûrv-nt)
    1. Subordinate in capacity or function.
    2. Obsequious; servile.
    3. Useful as a means or an instrument; serving to promote an end.

  • ahunt



    There is nothing wrong with women ruling the home. It is about time that men be the subservient domesticated ones.


    Well I for one am ALLLL over this. Lemme just check with the Better Half.

  • ahunt

    • "Americans rank marriage last in importance, behind health,
    self-sufficiency, financial security, a fulfilling job, religious
    faith, and children."


    Crowepps, wasn’t it Katherine Hepburn who suggested that men and women were not meant to live together…rather we should live next door to one another and visit from time to time?


    I’m thinking a duplex design… with connecting doors between the master bedrooms.

  • anonymous99

    It appears the truth about marriage is starting to get out.  Civil marriage is just a welfare program.  It’s a contract you sign at the court house that assigns you to take care of the deadbeat in the relationship so the state doesn’t have to.  Not very appealing.  To all working men and women out there don’t get married.  If you do, you’ll likely be very sorry. 

  • crowepps

    Katherine Hepburn was a really smart lady.

    The problem that I see with marriage is that unlike any other contract, people decide to enter this one with no idea of what it entails.