If Old People Have Sex, I Don’t Want to Hear About It

Each Sunday I read the New York Times Modern Love
column. I enjoy the various topics ranging from interracial couples to
arranged marriages, or a Cyber stalker to a woman’s relationship with
her husband who is dying of cancer. Each post shows the intimacy in
some relationships, and tells a story of how diverse people interact.
The column reminds me of how much I love good writing, writing that
makes me mad, happy, sad or thoughtful.

After reading each post, I fight the urge to call a college friend and
critique the piece, deciding whether it fit our journalism professor’s
formula for great writing. Instead of a phone call, we often resort to
text or Facebook messages. After Sunday’s post, my friend and I did not
share our feelings about Yes, We Do. Even at Our Age. And to be honest, at first, I didn’t know if I liked it. My guess is my friend wasn’t sure either.
It must have been the topic that made us uncomfortable. Old people
having sex. I don’t really like to hear, know, read about anyone having
sex, let alone people the same age as my grandparents. And although sex
is everywhere, and totally indiscreet, I guess I just think
individuals’ sex lives are no one else’s business but their own, and I
don’t want or need to know the gory details.

After a morning of
lounging and strolling New York City, I thought of my divorced parents,
who are not elderly and both have significant others. The idea of them
having sex is something I don’t think about, but I know it happens. I
want them both to continue having happy relationships and exciting
lives now and in the future, and I know a healthy sex life will only
help them achieve that.

RH Reality Check posted its first of many blogs promoting healthy sexuality and aging, and although I would never say How Are You Orgasms, Mom? it may be good for her to know how healthy sexuality will contribute to her already-lovely life.

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  • invalid-0

    One thing never changes: Parents do _not_ want to know about their (adult married) children’s love lives and children do _not_ want to know about their parents’ love lives.

    • heather-corinna

      Eh, I don’t think that’s universally true.  I think that actually has a lot to do with the way people are reared, including what ideas they are given about sexuality and age, or sexuality and parents, and what kinds of relationships any of us have with our parents when it comes to talking about sex and considering it a normal part of our lives.

  • invalid-0

    That seems to be working out really well…

  • invalid-0

    I’m not a real big Todd Rundgren fan or anything, but I’ve always found one line in one of his songs to be very wise: “Love between the ugly is the most beautiful love of all.” I dunno how the author defines “old,” but someday she herself will cross that threshold. Hopefully she’ll want to know about herself then… Until that time, avoidance of the awareness of older people’s happiness could, conceiveably, be akin to avoidance of same-sex partner’s happiness: as a source of prejudice. But perhaps it’s better to focus on the emotions involved, if one must be voyeuristic in thought.

  • invalid-0

    I am unsure what is “old”. In my opinion some people are old in their 40s. My partner and I are our early 60s and I think we are just reaching our sexual peak ! We mix with a lot of younger people and I think they are attracted to us because they see as very compatible and in love. Whilst unsaid I believe others see us as being sexually compatible. It shows.

    Younger people need to realise that their parents, grandparents came from a different era which housed a lot of sexual taboos. Like I recall when growing up that the only sex was vaginal sex. Oral or anal sex would not be thought of as a possibility.

    Contraception was also taboo and withdrawal was perhaps the most used method with all its attaching risks and lack of satisfaction. Many pharmacies would not stock rubbers and those that did would keep them hidden from view. I never questioned where my late wife obtained contraceptive foam.

    So I see us “boomers” on a life journey. Believe me it only gets better.

    • independentminded

      Thanks for sharing this with  us.

  • invalid-0

    Hello, ageism!

  • http://www.netvibes.com/pharmacy-store invalid-0

    thanks for sharing your thoughts