Get Real! I Want to Wait to Have Sex…Can I?


Miss Anonymous asks:

I
am worried about sex, and I don’t think its normal at my age (24) but I
don’t know what to do about it. I was raised in a really strict family
and so I didn’t lose my virginity til I was 21 which was really way
later than everyone else, even my younger sister. I wasn’t really ready
but I was sort of curious and I did it to please my boyfriend and lots
of other reasons. We dated for about a year and I had sex with two more
guys after I split up with him but mainly from feeling like I should to
fit in. I haven’t had a serious boyfriend in ages now, and I’m afraid
to have another relationship cos I think it will surely involve sex. I
know in theory you can say no, but hey, what guy is going to stick
around with me when he can get it from any other girl on the street? It
doesn’t seem realistic. When I think about sex I just get scared, cos I
feel like I don’t know at all what to do, and its not like I was even
an adventurous teenager so I can’t give head or anything either. I
really don’t know how to do anything except kiss. But I’m sure most
guys are expecting way more than that! I don’t want to become a slut
just to learn but I can’t claim to be a virgin any more so I don’t know
what to do. In my ideal world I’d like to be with a guy for at least a
year before sleeping together, maybe wait til marriage, but I am scared
to even admit that’s what I want cos I know its not normal. Please
help! I’m worried that being so messed up about this will mean no
decent guy will want to be with me.

Heather replies:

A lot of people are worried, anxious or nervous about sex, whether they are 15, 24 or 44. It’s not just you, really.

Given how many people in the world have conflicting feelings about
sex and sexuality, I’d disagree that the concerns you’re having are not
normal at your age or any other. You say a couple times that you know
how you feel isn’t normal. Looks like it’s time to question what you
feel you know, because from my side of the fence, in working with a
wide range of people around sexuality for a long time now, I would
disagree with you. I have seen and heard what you are voicing before,
far more than once, and don’t think there is anything abnormal about
it. The range of wants and needs, personal ethics and values, and
comfort and discomfort with sex and sexuality is vast among all of us.

How we each feel about sex is influenced by an awful lot of
different things. Some of our feelings come from childhood and our teen
years, and how sex and sexuality was treated in our families, in terms
of what was said to us as well as what wasn’t said: we get a lot of
messages about sexuality from our upbringing which are covert or
subtle, but influential all the same. We also get loads of messages
about sex from our peers, our communities and our culture. You use the
word "slut," which tells me that somewhere you picked up the (very
common) idea that some kinds of sex, frequency of sex, or number of
sexual partners is a bad thing, and that the way someone has sex, or
the motivations someone has to have sex, say something about a person’s
value. Ideas like that are going to impact how you think about sex and
yourself in relationship to your sexuality.

We also have feelings about sex and sexuality based on what our
sexual experiences — by ourselves and/or with partners — have been,
and what our sexual relationships have been like. I hear you voicing
that your sexual relationships, and your sexual experiences within
them, have not been particularly positive. You voice feeling like you
have only had sexual partnership out of feelings of obligation or a
need to fit in or keep someone around: those are not positives.

By all means, as time goes by, as any of us have more experiences
with sex or more sexual partners, we will learn some things about sex,
and will tend to become more comfortable with sexual partnership, when
we do feel like we know what we’re doing, and also when we don’t.

However, every single time we have a new partner, in so many ways,
it’s everyone’s first time. In other words, if we’re doing it right and
really treating every partner as a whole person, a unique person, we’re
all learning sex anew with that new partner, and we’re all at least
somewhat clueless. Everyone does not like all the same things, or finds
that one way of doing an activity is how that activity feels best for
them. Too, our sexual dynamics tend to differ from relationship to
relationship, so something we didn’t like with one partner may be
something we love with another; something that felt good this way with
that partner may not feel so great with this one. So, when you’re with
a new partner, you’re not the only one who doesn’t know what to do,
even if your partner (or you) thinks they do. What they, or
you, know, is what has worked for partners before. You or they will
learn what you two, uniquely, like, just over time through
experimenting together.

By all means, the awkwardness, the unfamiliarity, of new sexual
partnership can be daunting — for either or both partners — but how
daunting it is or is not tends to have a lot to do with who we are
with, how we feel about them and how they feel about us, what our
dynamics are in that relationship, and if we’re entering into sexual
partnership when it really does feel both right and like something we
want, not just because someone else wants it or because it seems like
something we "should" be doing based on someone else’s standards. It
can also feel all the more daunting if we have the idea that sex isn’t
always about experimenting, trying things out, fumbling plenty of
times, relearning every time, but is about somehow being an expert with
sexual activities, about doing things "right," in some kind of static
way that magically works for everyone, despite the fact that we’re all
so different.

What I hear you saying is that you’ve yet to be in a situation or
relationship where sex has really felt like the right thing for you, or
like something you wanted and took part in on your own terms. You’re
hardly the only young woman at your age who feels that way at this
point in your life: I’ve even heard women twenty years, forty years,
older than you voice feeling that way before.

You talk about what would be ideal for you as dating someone for at
least a year before you’re sexual together, or perhaps saving sex until
after a marriage. You get not only to have that ideal, you also get to
choose to live that ideal if that is what you want to do and what feels
best for you. Is that ideal going to work for every potential partner?
Nope, just like someone else’s ideal of having sex before then isn’t
working for you. But that’s okay: it tends to take anyone some
trial-and-error to find partnerships that fit them best, and the world
won’t end if, in dating, you like someone but you two aren’t a good fit
in that department.

There are other women who share your ideals and there are other men
who share them, too. I’d encourage you not to think of men as a group
of people who all think and act the same, because they’re not. While
some men would want sexual activity before then, others want what you
want. Men, like women, vary.

I also want to address some of your statements, and let you know
what I hear in them. You voice concerns about why a guy would stick
around without sex when he could "get it from any other girl on the
street." That seems to presume that other women besides you don’t have
their own sets of wants and needs which are just as important and valid
as yours, and that there are all these women hanging around just to put
out for some guy you won’t put out for. Absolutely, some women are not
only okay with more casual sex, or sex earlier in a relationship, but
want casual sex or sex earlier in a relationship. (And they’re not in
competition with you, for the record: their wants and needs are just
different from yours.) But there are also some who don’t want that, and
want other things, other scenarios. That statement also suggests that
sex is nothing more than this thing men get or don’t get, rather than
something any two (or more) people create together, experience
together, express themselves through together, and have as part of some
kind of relationship. It seems to suggest, too, that you think men, as
a whole, don’t see relationships as about more than sex, or see sex as
about more than just getting off. Do some men feel that way? Sure. Do
all men feel that way? Nope.

And you can say no, or not yet, or that you want to do this thing
now, but save that one for later, or that you want to do something, but
need more time first in more than just theory: you can, realistically,
say that in practice, too. If you haven’t ever done that, it may feel
unrealistic now, but I assure you that you can, and that doing that
does not mean every guy you say that to will simply go find someone who
will say yes immediately. To be clear, you have the right to only have sex when you want to and on whatever your own terms are: we all have that right.

Someone who is in a relationship with you which is about more than
sex alone, someone who cares for you and has respect for you, someone
who wants to be IN relationship with you, based on who you are as a
whole person, someone who has some maturity and heart can handle a no
to something they ideally may have wanted (if, in fact, that is what
they wanted). A person like that, who feels strongly for you, who
doesn’t want to date a doormat in the first place, is not just going to
run out on you because they can’t get laid when they want to. But in
order to find that out, you do have to go ahead and say no when no is
what you’re feeling and give them a chance to respond like adults.

For any of us, we are much more likely to find what we want with
partners when we are clear about what we want with partners. You say
you’re afraid to voice your wants and needs, and I’d encourage you to
try and get past that. You voiced them here, which is a good first
step, now it’s time to voice them to people you are dating or
interested in dating. Until you CAN say what you want to those people,
you are, indeed, going to be unlikely to find it and get it. Once you
can start clearly and confidently voicing your ideals and your wants,
the chances of you having your needs met in this way will increase
exponentially. It might be a good idea to think about how, exactly,
you’d even find the kinds of guys who share similar wants and needs as you — and they are out there — if you aren’t voicing them.

As well, it is up to you as much as anyone else if your
relationships do or do not involve sex, or sex at any given point. You
say you’re afraid to pursue relationships because they "will surely
involve sex." For sure, if you are entering what’s understood to be a
sexual relationship, then that, understandably, will probably involve
an expectation of sex. But you get to construct your relationships how
you like, which can absolutely include things like making clear before
or during initial dates that you’re not interested in a sexual
relationship right away. Might that mean some dates who DO want that
will opt out? yes, but since you don’t want that right now, that
shouldn’t be a problem: think of it as a screening process, where you
are screening out those who won’t be a good fit for your wants and
needs, and a screening IN process for those who may feel exactly the
same way as you. Again, if you don’t own and voice what you do and
don’t want, you can’t expect to find it.

No part of what you have written here feels "messed up" to me, save
that I do think you’d be benefited by adjusting some of the ideas
you’re expressing about what you feel all men are like, and what it
seems you presume the dynamics of sex and sexual relationships must be
like. I think it’d be a good idea to examine how you’re thinking about
yourself and others, to put some more stock in yourself and what you
want as valuable and absolutely normal, and to throw away any ideas you
have that there’s anything wrong with what you want, or that what you
want is unattainable, because it’s not.

I think if you can become more confident and assertive with your
values, your wants, your needs, you’re going to start discovering that
you start to meet more people who value and respect them — even if
theirs differ — start to find some of the ways you think about men,
women and sex evolve, and that you’re going to feel a whole lot less
worried and uncomfortable about all of this. And I think that if you
can put more value in yourself and your own values, no matter what they
are, you are going to be far more likely to find relationships of real
quality that feel good for you, all around, whether or not sex is a
part of them.

Here are some more links I think will help you out:

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Follow Heather Corinna on twitter: @Scarleteen

  • http://www.myspace.com/myjerusalem invalid-0

    Get a christian boy friend or someone who shares similar views. You have the right to want friendship before intimacy and if you cant find anyone with enough respect to find other ways of getting deep with you then nuff said…why settle for less! Your worth it, let them wait and if they want you that badly then let them get real or serious about the future.

  • progo35

    I sympathize. There is a lot of pressure for anyone who can reproduce to have sex, particularly adults who are self-sufficient. Ie, you’re an adult, why aren’t you having sex?

    Personally, I see abstinence as something I do for myself. I don’t look down on people who choose not to be abstinent, but I realize that making that choice does narrow the suitor pool quite a bit. Despite this, I’ve found that it’s worth waiting. Even doing sexual things that don’t include any kind of intercourse when one does not want to is uncomfortable and potentially destructive.

    "Well behaved women seldom make history."-Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

  • http://www.tiempomujer.es/animales/razas-de-perros/a/azawakh/ invalid-0

    I think the sex is not all, and you don´t need to be afraid about this the sex came with the time and with the time and trust in your boyfriend and if he whant a really nice girl way he can´t whait for you the time than you need, so don´t be so worry about be your self and be happy with the time this kind of things go out of your mind.

  • invalid-0

    First, from your post I can tell you’re a warm, smart, thoughtful young woman who deserves to be more confident in her relationships. I can’t imagine any “decent” guy not wanting to be with you. And this is coming from a man BTW.

    I can’t quibble with much of what Heather wrote. However, I think it’s OK to look at your own value system, put it to the test, and hopefully grow a little bit in the process. Since you grew up in a “really strict” family your head was no doubt filled with an array of lies to strike the fear of God into you regarding sex. It worked. Unfortunately, this has left you a bit scarred and is getting in the way of any possible relationship you could have.

    You really need to de-program and free yourself from the emotional baggage you’ve been dealt. I urge you to study the subject of sex (eg Kinsey and other honest reports) and the history of sex and the truth will be revealed to you. Sex is a wonderful and natural God-given gift to humanity which can and should be treasured rather than feared. The truth is by the time you were a teenager, God made you a sexual being. Sex is not evil or dirty, and need-not be rationed to any great extent. Sex is good.

    Yes, “in theory”, you can say no. You can ask a man to wait a year or until you’re married. To be honest with you if you were 14 you would probably have a pretty good chance to find a guy willing to wait a year for sex. But at 24 when your dating pool is grown men your chances are very slim. And let’s be fair to men. Just because a grown man doesn’t want to wait doesn’t make him a jerk and it doesn’t mean he doesn’t care enough about you or any other such nonsense. Men are sexual beings who desire sex from the women they “like” and date. This is perfectly normal human behavior.

    You might ask yourself why you want to say no and challenge those ideas. You may find that it’s really OK to embrace sex. You may also find there’s a very wide chasm between virgin and slut.

    Finally, and I’m VERY serious about this and I’m trying to help, if you’re uncomfortable with anything beyond a kiss, you may want to watch some pornography so you can learn what to do. Humans are the only animals who have sex in private. And nobody teaches us this stuff. The internet is full of free videos that will no doubt help you become a more confident and better lover.

    Good luck.

  • heather-corinna

    Just a reminder to those who comment on my volumns here: the
    original poster, who asked the question, is not likely to be reading
    the answer, nor any comments to them, here.

     

    And just to
    be clear per the last comment, men are no more or less "sexual beings"
    than women are.  And men and women alike (as well as those of toher
    genders) have a vast, vast array of sexual desires, needs and wants, and a wide variance of ideal sexual partnership pacing.

     

    I don’t think, given the information the poster gave, it is particularly mysterious as to why she wants a slower pace: she had her sexual dabut later than average,  and also sounds like she has yet to be able to have sex on her own terms.  Obviously, she IS reflecting on her feelings around this already, and those feelings are valid: because she wants to say no rather than yes at this time (or rather, wants a certain pacing), I don’t think anyone needs to tell her she needs to evaluate her feelings any more than the next person.

     

    P.S.  I find it odd to suggest she chalenges her beliefs while you’re enabling some of them in your comments, such as "You may also find there’s a very wide chasm between virgin and slut."

  • invalid-0

    Heather, I think you misunderstood at least some of my post but that’s OK. However, in re-reading my post it does appear that I am enabling the poster’s belief/use of the word “slut”. This was not my intention. I was just trying to say that there aren’t the two extremes she was referring to. In any event, thanks for making that point in the post-script.

    The poster grew up in a “strict family” and “so” she waited to have sex until she was 21. The poster makes this connection clear – her waiting to have sex was a function of her upbringing. The poster no doubt grew up with a healthy dose of the modern-day chastity belt, fear and guilt. And it worked all too well.

    I don’t think the poster wants a slower pace because she had a late debut or she hasn’t had sex on her terms. Rather, she associates sex with fear and guilt, and this is driving her feelings about sex and her relationships with men.

    I was not asking her to challenge her “feelings”. Those are definitely real and valid. However, people carry all sorts of false, unhealthy, and debilitating beliefs/ideas/values around with them regarding just about everything, including sex. One can of course accept that. On the other hand, a person can take meaningful steps to unlearn what’s holding them back so they can grow. Both men and women who grew up in these “strict” families have overcome the same challenges the poster is experiencing.

    Thanks for the blog and the opportunity to comment. I really appreciate the very important work you’re doing.

  • invalid-0

    i dont know how i stumbled on to this page. i want to address the letter and some of the comments. first off, dont deprogram yourself from God. God created sex and therefore it is good is very uneducated… sorry im not trying to be rude to the commenter, you said some other things that made sense. God created plenty of things that if used improperly are bad. He created things to be used in its proper purpose. His proper purpose was marriage. If we all waited till marriage, our relationships would look a lot better, however we dont. Flat out, I respect everones right to opinion, but the more we change our relationship views on what God wants the worse it gets. We arent going to get better. The divorce rate will get worse. This is coming from a guy who has got plenty of girls into his bed in my day. I am 22. What did i want all along? To do the opposite. Why did i do it? Probably rebelling against my parents who believed in waiting till marriage. And then once I made my own view, I realized the complications and baggage that comes along with multiple sex partners. Flat out. And if you say, there is none… your numb to it. Embrace your feelings. We all know that sex shouldnt be unrestricted. We shouldnt have sex with every person we see. We can all agree on that. The only question is where to draw the line. So we already know there needs to be moderation. What does that tell you? That there is more baggage to it than just an hour or two of pleasure. Look, I’ve been to both sides and back… I know what I’m talking about. I do not have sex, at all. I don’t. It is better. For the writer of this letter…. it is going to be tough to find a guy in line with those views, im not gonna lie… but their out there. You recognize the problem. Don’t tell her that her problem is a religous lie, when obviously it is not. She said she didnt want to do it and was pressured into it. That’s fine. whats past is past. God put those feelings inside of you because he told you whats right and wrong. If we embrace them long enough, we become numb to it and forget our morality. Don’t do that. You are caring by nature. I am one of those guys. And all of the girls I am friends with are virgins. Well, most of them. There is a world where this exists. And its not restrictive. In fact, since I changed my life and had faith in God, my life is more free than ever. I was in chains by man’s perceptions, which are corrupt by nature. I am not a slave, a puppet, and do not live a boring life. I don’t go against my nature. God gives me power to restrict myself from doing certain things he dissaproves of. We all do wrong. Everyone. But through my trials and tribulations I have become closer to God and seen his power and I’m addicted to it. I used to be addicted to girls, drugs, and partying… God is so much better and purer to me. I had fun doing all that stuff but I wasn’t fulfilled. My life truly is an adventure now. If you want a guy like that i’m not gonna tell you to go to church cause not all church is good. A lot of people doing a lot of talking and not a lot of doing. I dont like religion or religious people. They are full of crap. But there are some good people within the church. I like people who follow the God I follow and dont get him twisted, cause a lot of so called Christians are hateful. Saying terrible things to gay people and so forth and its wrong. We should love gay people and be friends with them, not homophobes. I’m a christian who follows the Bible and tries to love at the same time….people get it twisted and i understand why people dislike christians. you should. just remember that alot of so called christians, arent. PEACE!

  • invalid-0

    Ok. Here’s the thing. Be where you are in your sexuality. It is ok to be scared. Fear is there for a reason. Lean into it and confront it. ON YOUR OWN! You don’t need a partner to help you discover your own, beautiful and fierce sexuality.
    I don’t think you need to watch porn to learn how to make love and have sex or just plain fuck. Because porn is a ridiculous fantasy world where women are these submissive sex slaves…and my dear, if you ever want to own your sexuality…porn isn’t going to hand you that key to unlock it!
    I’m 25 and I’ve had 3 sexual partners. I had sex with someone for the first time when I was 22. And it was because up until then, I wasn’t ready. And honestly…FUCK anyone who tried to push me or guilt me into having sex before I was ready.
    What many men don’t realize is that if you pressure or guilt someone into having sex with you before their ready then YOU WILL BE A PITIFUL lover! Being a good lover is being able to tune into your partner’s wants, desires and needs. And if you’re ignoring the most fundamental need of NOT BEING AFRAID…then you really do suck as a lover.
    I strongly encourage you to explore your sexuality on your own and with on your own terms. Do some research, get like 3 fabulous vibrators (I recommend a gspot vibrator, a bullet, and then…one that intrigues you.) That way you’ll discover on your own what makes you orgasm in each of the ways that you can…vaginally, gspot and clitorally. Learn what touch turns you on. So that when you are with someone you can tell them, “I want to feel you touch me here, or like this…” Own your sexuality and you will be so much more comfortable with it.
    If you are not ready to have sex, then you’re not ready! And honestly…do you want to be with a guy who wouldn’t wait. I started dating a guy, and told him I wanted to go slow, and he scoffed at the idea. Because I didn’t want to have oral sex the first time we made out. I grabbed my purse and my shoes and was out the door without looking back.
    We’ve heard the old saying, “No means No.” But I encourage you to look at it as “Yes Means Yes.” When you’re ready to say yes…then say yes emphatically. But until then, make no apologies for where you are! And in the meanwhile…explore on your own and maybe tap into why that fear is there.
    To be honest with you…I believe what makes a woman an amazing lover is one who isn’t ashamed of her body, who knows what she wants and who thoroughly enjoys every act that she engages in. But if there is fear, you can’t do any of that…
    Accept where you are, and don’t let anyone guilt you for that!

  • invalid-0

    Grant,

    2,000 years ago girls got married when they were 12 or 13. In Romeo and Juliet, Juliet’s mom considered Juliet nearly an old maid at 13. Keep in mind that nutrition wasn’t nearly what it is today and girls began puberty, and developed a sex drive, much later back then than they do today. The average age of first marriage for women in America today is 25 or 26.

    Being a virgin and waiting to have sex before marriage was MUCH easier when the Bible was being written than it is now. And it has absolutely nothing to do with a lack of morals, character, or any other perceived failing of society. It’s just a combination of biology and modern life. The agricultural and industrial revolutions brought us many good things, including much longer lives and a need to prepare for that life. Not surprisingly people are getting married much later.

    Sex should certainly be taken seriously and parents need to prepare their kids for the potential pitfalls. However, the ideal of “waiting” for marriage is an unrealistic fantasy for most people. And frankly, the lengths some parents go to keep their kids on the virgin path are nothing short of mental torture.

    And by the way there is no sanctity left in marriage anymore. The church pushed marriage on the states a long time ago. Modern marriage is nothing more than a welfare program designed to benefit the lower earning spouse, usually the woman. Believe me, marriage is NOT what you think it is. Modern marriage destroys people and their relationships and is not worth $1, let alone worth abstaining from sex.

    Good luck to you.

  • invalid-0

    To Miss Anonymous (LOL)

    I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and the first year we did not have sex at all, this established our relationship and when the time was right it happened but it was difficult for him. Now we have sex about once a month and very safely because we are not ready for kids yet. I think that there are two types of men, the ones that can cherish and wait for the woman to be ready and the greedy ones who think with their other head. I am only 28 and am not saying I do not like sex but delay it sometimes due to my religion. The odd thing is that when it does happen my boyfriend tells me he is not ready and I am starting to believe he has erectile dysfunction after reading this blog post and am wondering if it is due to my lack of not wanting it or maybe he does not like me sexually anymore.

  • invalid-0

    “I think that there are two types of men, the ones that can cherish and wait for the woman to be ready and the greedy ones who think with their other head.”

    Wow! That is so unfair to men.

    I’m thinking you’re a graduate of the “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free” school. Am I right?

    He’s had (or not had) sex on your terms for 3 years now (even though it has been “difficult” for him) and he’s just tired of it. I would be.

    • http://trendever.blogspot.com/ invalid-0

      The person lives all life not only as the man or the woman (marked on the basis of a floor), but he also lives all life in a family, it is marked as the person family; as the family creates such institute (makes) and reproduces the person of type «homo familius».

  • invalid-0

    my older sister was in a similar situation and she spoke to her boyfriend, she told him that past relation ships didnt work out (with sex) and that she was afraid to get hurt again.. so if u get into a relation ship again, let that person know how u realy feeling just like u xplain to us here xplain to that person… if he doesnt understand u then he is not worth it… if he loves or not love u yet but he likes u he will surely understand u… but also if ur with ur boyfriend avoid sex conversations just avoid the word SEX or stuff like that for him to see that ur interest are not having sex with him but having something nice…
    and let him know that in da past relation ships u and ur ex had sex but then everything went wrong and u dont want to make the same mistakes again let him know that u are wiling to have a serious relationg ship just straight up my girl thats all i can tell u. My sis still with him they are like 2 years together now and they don have sex yet i know people think noo 2 years wattt they had sex already! but noo sometimes u just have to be strong… remember SEX is a HUGE step in a relation ship.. and if u want that person to respect u dont have sex with him before mariage but incase you want to have sex with him doit in a way that he doesnt disrespect u so he wont lose respect for u… “EVERYTHING IS ABOUT RESPECT ”
    hope this help u but thats how it was with my sis she was feeling just like u but then u have 2 options or straight up and tell that person from the very begining how things are or have sex with that person and wish for him not to break up with u cause thats reality GUYS GET SEX they leave u cause they already get wat they wanted they no longer respect u. u never know so its best for u to just talk to whoever comes along tell him how things are… anyways thats all i can tell u hope it helps u..
    good luck!

  • invalid-0

    and age doesnt matter my girl if ur not ready ur not ready no one can force u to have sex thats ur choice and like i said it in post one he will understand uuu if he likes u or love u.. dont feel like ur the only girl in the planet thats afraid of sex WE girls always usually get afraid of sex cause WE girls always dream and the “special momment” and blah blah but u know u can make it special if u find the right person dont hurry urself just be confindent and the person will come alone to u.. and excuse me but ur not 60 years old virgin u were raised with an extric family ur just 24 my girl people still virgins at 36 ahead that doesnt matter maybe something good waiting for u in da future and if u feeling not normal let me tell u thins GUYS WAT MORE WANT is a decent girl not someone that had pass already for many guys bed u understand me.. be proud of urself and “trust” is wat u need to do if u get ina new relation ship, talk to him, trust him, love him… many guys would love to have a girl like u trust mee…

  • http://www.edenfantasys.com/ invalid-0

    I enjoyed the explicit answer to the problem and here are my notes:
    Dear, Miss Anonymous. Stop dreaming about abstinence -porn like life… You’d better read some ultimate guides to different kind of sex, and try to explore yourself and your hot spots … sexuality can be discovered just this way. Good LUCK!

  • http://nicford.com invalid-0

    The reality never assumes that you have to get sex when you are young. It is a public pressure that gives you htose assuptions in the first place anyway. Those who don’t have to push themselves to do something you don’t wanna do will be more satisfied with their life and all the things they do so don’t push yourself anything you don’t wanna do even there is pressure from friends people or even family. It’s perfectly ok to wait.