• invalid-0

    I have seen this clip many times and it still gets me every time. What I didn’t expect is that even just reading the transcript would make me tear up.

  • heather-corinna

    That is one of the most glorious things I have ever seen done in mainstream media when it comes to parents and teens around sex, if not THE most glorious.  Holy cow!  Thanks so much for pointing it out.

  • sarah-seltzer

    I know Heather! It’s truly great that they did this, and I hope that rumors about the show being renewed are true, because this season they’ve introduced a few new characters (including one queer teen) and I’m hoping the writers will explore their issues with similar subtlety.

  • harry834

    that the conversation between Eric the coach and Matt, ought to have been a bit longer and/or more sensitive/less judgmental? I do like his message of respecting women, but I get the "she’s my daughter, and I’m watching you" vibe.

    We praised Tami for not initially assuming to know what her daughter was doing. I feel like Eric the coach did not take that step with Matt. 

    • http://www.onehostgator.com invalid-0

      I think that Eric the coach does represent the typical father on many levels. He has a hard time verbalizing what he wants to say.

  • harry834

    I didn’t see the show. Maybe he said it gently.

  • jodi-jacobson

    Sarah,

    I love your work and this piece. I have not watched this show regularly, but will go back and do so.

    However, one thing I did want to offer, was about the point you raise in regard to Tami telling Julie she wishes she would have “waited.” I am not so sure it is fair to characterize this only as a “nod” to the right wing. Unless I missed something, the message was not so much about “waiting til marriage,” but rather perhaps just that she wished it had not happened so soon, or that she had waited til she was a bit older. I don’t know, I am just putting it out there.

    And I do so as the mother of a nearly 13-year-old daughter, as a woman who is decidedly not “right wing,” and as someone who believes that sex is a very good thing and should be both enjoyed but practiced responsibly. I do want my daughter to wait to have sex, until she is ready. I don’t know when that will be; it won’t be up to me to make that decision. But it is not the same as saying “wait til marriage.” It is, in my mind, wait until you are ready and can handle it, enjoy it and be responsible about it and to be in such a relationship with someone you care about and cares about you, for however long that lasts. I am quite sure that when the time comes, I will have mixed feelings. Just as I did when she suddenly veered from one stage to another at various ages….when she was younger and i could carry her on my hip to the point where she no longer wanted to be carried, when she had no barriers at all about playing full on with boys and then veered from that to having only girls as friends, when she went from wearing only sports clothes to sudden interest in dresses and makeup..it is the movement from one stage of life to another, and sometimes it is bitter-sweet and as parents, we often want to hold onto those stages because each of them has a sense of time passing and a loss of something so lovely.

    And i have exactly the same feelings about my 9-year old son. One day he had no qualms about kissing me at the school drop off; suddenly he could no longer be seen doing that and I was lucky to get a kiss a block away.

    So I think that the part about “I wish you waited” isn’t only about the right wing. It is probably about all of us, and is normal. That is different than shaming, blaming or pretending that older adolescents and young adults won’t be sexually active.

    So for what it is worth, even that part felt genuine to me.

    Thanks for a great piece.
    Jodi Jacobson

  • invalid-0

    The conversation is brilliantly portrayed. I especially liked Julie’s “I know, I know already!” protestations at Tami’s point regarding the proper use of condoms. That’s spot-on for a teenager!

    I think it should be noted, however, that in the ideal scenario, a conversation like this would take place much earlier in a child’s development—before s/he begins to take an interest in sex, and no less importantly, before the “shell” of teenagers in our culture has ossified. It’s much harder to connect with a sullen, jaded teen on a difficult subject like this, than a bright-eyed, naive kid who still thinks you’re the greatest mom/dad in the world.

  • sarah-seltzer

    That is a great point Jodi. I think the "waited" stuff only felt like a nod to the right wing because of the context–primetime show on a network, not cable, a show that’s already pushing boundaries. But within the scenario itself,  ultimately I think that it definitely rang true with Tami’s character and with how a mother like Tami would feel–that urge to hold onto time and be able to protect the child. It was incredibly poignant.

  • invalid-0

    Tami did talk to Julie about sex two seasons ago, in a conversation that was also frank and touching. As someone who just watched the episode a few months ago (I got into the DVDs and just started watching in real time), I was struck by the parallels and the way that Tami and Julie have both grown while remaining true to themselves.

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